Of All Our Failed Firsts
by OngakuDream
Summary: Axel tried for years to get his first kiss with Roxas. Whether it's Roxas himself or the wrath of the gods, something is always keeping that from happening. What happens when Axel finally gives up? Will Roxas take a stand or keep running? A story of multiple flashbacks of all their failures and what they've lead up to.


**Disclaimer: I do not own Kingdom Hearts or anything affiliated with the games and make no munnies from the writing of this fic.**

**Author's Note****: Hey guys!!! So like the summary says, this is going to be about all the failed attempts of first kisses between our two boys, whether it's mean old Roxas' fault, or just the fate of the universe. I was going to make this a one shot, but after writing one flashback I decided it might be more fun to keep it suspenseful! Anyways, I hope you enjoy!!**

**Chapter Notes: Just an introductory to our boys' life and the first flashback, yay****y!!**

–—–—–—–—–—–—

"That's _it. _I've HAD IT!!!!"

The deep, resounding voice echoed through the apartment. A blonde young man sitting on the couch almost winced when the redhead that had been beside him moments ago suddenly shot up to his feet.

"What the _hell's _your problem, Axel?!" Roxas' hands gripped the game controller he was holding, while burning emerald eyes leered down towards his life-long best friend.

"What's my problem? What's_ my _problem?!" Long arms threw themselves above flaming wild locks. "Ohhhhhhh, I dunno, Rox...what the hell do you think _is_ my problem?!!"

The blonde narrowed his blue eyes and growled between clenched teeth, "I. Don't. Know. That's why I asked."

The redhead half sighed, half groaned.

"And it continues! Always playing dumb afterwards!"

At that, the blonde jumped up to quickly stand inches from Axel. "Look, I don't why the fuck you're acting like this, but–"

"Bullshit, Roxas!!!" You know exactly why I'm acting like this!!"

Roxas could see the pain in his friend's eyes, but there was no way he was bending. He had to stay strong and unyielding, just as he had for years. He couldn't let Axel get to him. He couldn't show the emotions he'd tried so hard to hide.

"Alright, Axel, you know what, I'm-"

"Leaving?? How _fucking _unpredictable!!!"

At the empasis of the curse word, Axel took the controller he was holding and threw it across the room with such force that it shattered as soon as it hit the wall. Red and black pieces flew everywhere like a plastic firework. The taller man stood panting, shoulders tightened into an angeled 'V'. Roxas stood firm, though inside he was slightly shaking at the violence he never thought the normally level-headed Axel could display.

"You've always done this, Roxas, always. Dragging me along, giving me hope. Always making me think 'This time, maybe _this_ will actually be it!' and right at the last second 'BAM' the moments gone, you're gone, and I'm left feeling like a fucking idiot!"

Roxas squinted his eyes and flung his head to the side, he couldn't look at Axel. He couldn't face him like this. He had never seen his friend so upset and he hated it.

"Axel, I–"

"No!! I'm so fucking DONE!!!"

Silence fell, only the rapid, haggard breathing coming from the taller man filled the living room. Roxas chanced a look towards him, instantly wishing he hadn't. Axel's once strained shoulders now slumped depressingly towards the floor, head downcast and eyes shadowed.

"I'm done, Rox. I'm fucking...I'm just..."

Another minute went by before Axel finally lifted his head halfway. His eyes were revealed but were filled with a foreign darkness.

"_I'm_ the one leaving this time." That voice was even more foreign to Roxas. It was like a complete stranger stood in front of him. So somber and daunting, yet laced with a painful venom. Roxas was frozen in place as he watched Axel swiftly turn on his heel, heading towards the door. The redhead sent one last mournful glare before slamming it behind him.

The second the door was shut Roxas' knees buckled under him. His body slumped on the couch and he couldn't help the tears that spilled as he buried his head into a red, velvet pillow.

Axel shoved his hands deep into the pockets of his black jeans as he sauntered down the street. Every now and then a rock would go flying as he kicked it away angrily.

"Urghhh. Stupid rocks...stupid Roxas..."

He continued silently for a few good moments with nothing but his own thoughts and the monotonous hum of crickets and other night bugs.

"How pathetic...for once _I'm_ the one who leaves, and it's out of my own apartment..."

His body was in auto-pilot and he didn't even have to look at the street names before making the next right.

"How did this start, Rox?" Axel's head fell back as he cast his sad eyes towards the endless stars. "Why are we like this...when did this all get so...confusing...?"

His voice was lost into the night air. The surrounding silence was suffocating as he looked into their past. Then suddenly, it hit him. The oldest memory he could recall of his best friend, his crush, his long-time secret love. The one who always seemed just out of reach.

–-–-–-–-–-–-–-–

**Kindergarten: Rainbows can't be ugly...can they?**

Red and pink ribbons, cupids, and other various cut-outs lined the walls of the small classroom. Candies and cards littered the small childrens' desks while many wrappers and envelopes were strewn across the floor. A poor exhausted teacher sighed, but smiled as she watched the happy kids run around excitedly.

"Alright, children, your parents are here! Remember you can't leave until they have signed you out! Don't forget all your goodies and have a lovely Valentine's Day!"

"WHOOOOOOOOOO!!!"

Chaos ensued as parents and children all mashed together in a loud, crazy mess. A small, fuzzy haired blonde ran instantly into his mother's open arms. "Mommy!!!"

"Roxas, my baby boy! How was your day?"

"Oh, oh, oh I got thith candy and thith one too and loths and loths of cards and–"

"Oh my how wonderful!" the woman calmly interupted her slightly lisping child, "Here, honey, it's a little crowded in here, why don't you go wait right outside for mommy while I sign you out. But don't you dare go anywhere else!"

"Yesth, mommy!"

The tiny boy grabbed his bag of goodies and bounded out the front door, secretly shoving yet another handful of gummies into his already colorful mouth. Once outside he waited patiently for his mother, rocking back and forth on his heels.

"Roxy, Roxy, Roxy!"

Out of nowhere a mohack of fire-engine red was shoved into the blonde's face, skinny arms wrapping around his neck.

"Axth!!"

He returned the embrace only before being pushed away hastily. "I've got something for you, Roxy!"

Roxas' eyes lit up. "More candy?!"

Axel looked down sheepishly, "Well...no..." he scratched the back of his head while kicking at the sidewalk.

"Then what?" Roxas was jumping up and down now.

"Um...here!"

Roxas was taken aback when a large red and purple construction paper card was eagerly shoved in his face. He took a peek around the card to eye his friend curiously. "But, Axth, I already gots one of your sthpiderman cards?"

The redhead smiled. "I know, but I wanted tah make you a super special one, cause you're mah best friend!"

Roxas jumped at that and snatched it quickly from the other boys hands. As Axel watched his friend read his barely legible handwriting (if you could call it that) and look at his silly stick figures, a faint blush dusted his little cheeks.

Roxas' enormous smile meant more to the young Axel than anything. With an innocent glee in his chest, he closed his eyes and started leaning towards his best friend. He knew Valentine's Day was supposed to be a day that you showed everyone how much you loved them. And there was no one he loved more than Roxas. Well, as much as a five year old could. He always received pecks on the cheek from his relatives that loved him, so he thought that would be a great way to show his friend how much he meant to him.

Axel continued to lean in closer until he was only an inch from Roxas' cheek. He stopped when he heard a hiccup, and peeked an eye open curiously. His lips still pursed and ready, he heard his friend whisper a simple "Uh oh..." before a rainbow of vomit spewed from the blonde's mouth and onto the hedge of bushes in front of him.

Axel was able to move back just in time. When the quick expulsion was finished, he put a caring hand on Roxas' shoulder. "Uh...you okay, Roxy?"

Roxas slowly turned his face towards Axel, a horrified look painted all over it along with a colorful waterfall remaining on his chin. Not seconds later the blonde burst into a pitiful crying fit.

"WAHHHHHHHHH!!!"

Parents and other children rushed out of the classroom to see what was going on. The teacher quickly followed, then stopped in her tracks. She sighed and shook her head sympathetically.

"Poor thing. I told him not to eat so much candy."

–—–—–—–—–—–—–—–—

**After thoughts: Well there it is, the first chapter!! It might not seem like much right now, but I promise I've got big plans and big drama for these kids. I love writing angry Axel, he's just so sexy in the games when he's all "flared up" ;P And yes I gave little Rox fluffy hair and a lisp...I couldn't help myself, blame my cute little nephews :3**

**Well, let me know what you think and if you enjoyed it and might be interested in more. Hopefully see you next time :)**


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